Love for People
Exactly a month since I last saw you.
In Taiwan. In Tainan Train Station.
You were millimeters away from me.
Then suddenly, we are 2,500 kilometers apart.
One Day and Becoming Less
The day before I left, I was already crying and out of energy. No will to get up. A potato at its finest. I feel like I wanted to stick myself to my bed. And force time to stop for a moment and let me breathe. But time did not cooperate. So as you, Mavinia.
I don’t know how our conversation started that day. But you blurted that you don’t want to see me. You were crying endlessly. And me, feeling depressed, sad. A bit numb actually.
Not so long after that, you posted an open letter on my timeline. You wrote about me, us. I didn’t expect it. Nor the rush of emotions while reading it. It was me who kept on telling you that I will write about us. So, yeah. Then comes your letter. I wasn’t even reading it properly. You idiot. You made me cry so hard. Like a baby out of milk. I was gasping for air you know. I cannot read it in just one go. I was pausing from time to time to breathe and make way for my tears. Yeah, I overdid my crying. I was even worried my neighbor will knock on my door for I was really loud (but I really don’t care haha) and somewhat like throwing tantrums all over my table in front of my laptop.
While I was reading through it, all I can think was, how can I deserve this? These words, this girl, this kind of friendship.. in a short period of time. It was overwhelming, overflowing.
Later that day, we still saw each other. I know you cannot resist seeing me (haha). We went to our “favorite” spaghetti shop with our eyes still puffy. We were just talking and I don’t know what happened why we started crying (and laughing too) while eating. Damn it. Hormonal, emotional girls. Haha.
We ended up parting early that Sunday afternoon. You went back to the dorm. I went to the other side of the train station.
Last Memory, The Zeroth Day
My last memory of you is in the Tainan train station. While I was cramming with all the stuffs I need to do before I leave Taiwan, you were just there in your lab waiting for me to bring me to the train station. Always on-the-go, on-call. You met me in Tzu-chiang campus. I saw you from far and you were holding this plastic bag with a watermelon travel pillow inside. I was giggly!! Haha. It’s the best gift ever.
You pushed one of my luggage, carried it once and while and sweat for my leaving. We were both busy catching the train, but I know we are thinking the same thing, too. It would be the last time for a long long time that we are going to see each other. No more late night and random knocks on each others’ dorm doors. No more Saturday cheapo online movie dates. No more slapping each others’ faces and shoulders while laughing too hard. No more occasional breakfasts in mcdonald’s. No more sudden flight to KFC for craving satisfactions. No more live rants on smelly smelly annoying people.
Reality and future shifting, I was imagining I’m already back in Philippines, away from you, then suddenly we were together in the taxi to the train station. I cannot even remember what we were talking about that time. But I remember how it feels. We were becoming closer to our end point. To the point where we are going to depart each other. It was heavy. Heavier than my 47-kg baggage.
And so, the time finally came. My train arrived. I asked you to go already. But you waited until the last minute. (Writing this now, I have heavy breathing *sigh*)
I stacked my baggage inside the car train. Went out and said my bay-bye to you. Then, you were hugging me. With your eyes swelled up with tears. I told you to stop crying and to stop hugging me. Enough, I said. I cannot. But the truth is, I want for more. But then, if you give more, I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it anymore. We’ll both be a mess.
But I regretted it. I regretted telling you to stop crying. I regretted telling you to stop hugging me that time in the train station. I regretted not hugging you too tightly. I regretted it. I should have given you the tightest hug in the world, the one you can never forget. I am sorry for being too weak to swim to my emotions that day. (I feel sad whenever I remember that moment. shadap)
First Memory, The Start of Many
We went to this Flower Night Market in Tainan. You, me, my Filipino friend (Louie), your two other Malaysian friends (Louis and Kuan), and a French girl (Armelle). It was the first time we saw one another. Louie and Kuan are roommates and they decided to invite each other’s friends to get some dinner together.
At the end of the night, we were sitting together in the bus going home and talking endlessly about blogs, instagram, life and random things. I still can remember your amazement when you figured out I have instagram too (as if it’s very rare haha) and that we use the same platform for blog (wordpress. you can visit her awesome blog in this link: cormensanima.com).
Then that night, you were flooding me with whatsapp messages. And so as in the next nights that we were in Tainan. 😉 The affinity is mutual and we became closer than expected.
(Mavinia. Looks familiar? I actually wanted to use these photos too for this blog post. But you posted first haha coz you write faster than me :p)
The firsts of our million photos together. And I cannot wait to take the next snap with you.
My Favorite, The In-betweens
Of the beginnings and endings, the in-betweens are always my favorite. It is where the magic happens. It is where the story becomes more interesting. To me, it is the part that matters the most.
Of the similarities we have, we concluded we were like twins. Thoughts alike. We even wear (almost) the same clothes sometimes. But with these similarities, also comes our differences. We compensate each other.
We both bite and smell things. But you bite more and smell less. And I bite less, and smell more (especially food).
You suck at counting (haha), in which I am good at. But don’t worry, you are good at directions. Needless to say, I suck at it (I am a desperate case).
When it comes to talking to strangers, I think I may be more comfortable with it than you do. I may be too trusting, and you may be too cautious. It’s a balance, perhaps.
In blogging, you write fast. I write slowly.
And with complaining, you are more of a “Yeah! We hate her! I’m with you!” Haha. While me, “No, let’s give her a chance. Maybe she’s not a bitch.” In short, I’m an angel, you are the devil (bwahahaha kidding).
Hayyyy. There are still so much I can list down, but it will take me forever.
I just want to thank you for all the memories we shared. All were good. Thank you for being My Person in Taiwan. In my 6-month stay abroad, I never expected to gain a really good friend, someone I can pour my heart out. I thought 6 months is a short time to gain someone like that. But I guess, time is not a variable. Time is just an illusion. And 6 months was more than enough to us. It was our little infinity.
Thank you for crossing oceans for me, like when someone stole my bike, you immediately came to me to help (even if your po*p is calling you haha). We spent more than 2 hours looking for it everywhere.
Thank you for trusting me with your truths, like when you told me you are only this kind of person when you are with your mom, Haziq, and with me. I feel privileged really. I encourage you to be more open to the world, Darling. You are amazing. People will love you for who and what you are. I know you know it already, but I still want to say it. 🙂
Thank you for letting me sleep/lay down on your bed (haha), like when I’m tired and depressed and just need a good company. It means a lot to me. Especially because you are a neat person and it’s unlikely for you to let anyone come near your stuffs (haha).
Thank you for pushing me to my limits, like when it’s all becoming technical with the blog platform and I am too dumb and lazy to do it. You are patient enough to teach me even though you know I suck at it badly. Really, thank you, I learned a lot from you. I surpassed my limit in technology (haha).
Thank you for keeping me inspired, especially on the blog thingies and throwing me random compliments. You are one of the few people whose fire for reaching dreams I admire. You are young, and you already achieved a lot. And you will still achieve more. Keep the fire burning honey, keep it up. I will always be here to support you.
Thank you for always believing in me, like when I have to repeat my experiments and you are there to tell me that I can still finish it. It was almost impossible. But somehow, in your words, I find comfort.
Thank you for accepting me, like when I was.. you already know (hahahaha), trying things.
Thank you for being my family, for simply being there.
Yes, we may be 2,500 kilometers apart, but I’m just One Call Away. 😉 We may not talk everyday, but it’s okay. We both know it’s okay. When we see each other again, it’s as if time hasn’t passed for sure.
Wait for me in Malaysia, okay? I will be waiting here in PH for you, too.
I miss you. And I love you my dear soul sister.