To the one person whom I have shared the 2 years of my life immensely and intimately,
It has been a year. Still, sometimes I slip. Sometimes I fall behind. Sometimes I look back.
I look at you, I look at us. And it feels like I am looking at an old painting. It feels like ages ago when we loved each other and got broken. The painting reminded me of the sweat and blood poured in an art of love for it to work. All the efforts made to overcome the time and distance. All the right and wrong strokes made on each direction. All the good and bad colors spilled into the canvas.
I look at us, and I see a painting.
It was still. But it demands attention.
It was old. But it vibrates light colors.
It was faded. But it demands appreciation.
It was cracked. But it needs no fixing.
It was over. But it demands presence.
And with all of that said, I can declare, we made something beautiful.
We just chose to leave it behind.
I know I said this letter is for you, but this letter is for me too.
I want to say that it is okay.
It is okay to stay a little longer and appreciate more of what we once had. It is okay to be with other people. It is okay to like someone other than us. It is okay to love yourself first. It is okay to forgive and to be forgiven. It is okay to forget and to remember. It is okay to come back and to let go completely. It is okay to be stuck and to live on. It is okay to say good bye. It is okay to make a new painting. It is okay to make a new beginning.
Whatever you do, it is okay.
I am writing this because it will be the last time. It will be the last time I will talk about you to myself. It will be the last time I will dig into the covers of the pastels and the layers of history of our painting. It will be the last time. But I will not stop appreciating, or remembering, or celebrating the beauty we brought to this world. Our painting does not deserve to be just kept in the attic or basement. It is worth to be hung on a wall or an exhibit. It is worth to be appreciated widely and deeply.
Regardless of how you deem see it, this is how it is for me.
Lots of hugs, Babs
P.S. I want to leave this quote to you. It is from a Mic Poetry in Sev’s Cafe, “Something good comes out of love, no matter the ending.” 🙂