Flying Solo


Love for People


Sometimes it is better to go to places where no one knows you, where your face is not a familiar shade. It is better. Encountered people see you the way you are now and not the way you are before. Sometimes even, they do not see you. The controlled invisibility drugs you to the addiction of the temporary remoteness. Because in there, there is no known past linking to your actions. The only connection is your presence now, your whole being at this precise moment, reflecting every bit of it without even unraveling a single detail of the history. There is no memory that people can recall to recount and to cross-check with your movements. You are not squeezed and validated into a rationalized feature. In these places, you do not have a shadow.

These places are some of the havens where you can breathe underwater and where you can create more of yourself and be with yourself without the society boxing you in unto someone they ought you to be, without you being diminished far from what and who you are meant to be. And in this box, there were times you truly believed they were right. That the eight faces of this hollow, dark stall mirror the real you. And you cannot get out, and the walls are all becoming familiar, and the feeling of not wanting to get out settles in your bones. You indulge yourself to the pleasures you mistaken as pure peace and bliss. And so you do nothing.

But still, the things that bound to happen, happened. One of walls was torn and slowly, a thin but thick beam of light started to blind your eyes from the darkness they are homed to. Slowly, then all at once, it shone in every bit of your skin. Then dug deeply into your joints, heating up the coldness time has brought into it. One joint moved and so did everything else. You recognized your beauty, your passion, your desires, your flaws. Candor, that is your true power. Ready to ride the world, you realized that the real you is more than what the norms had set for you. In this foreign unfamiliar point in space, you became addicted. Because in here, there is no “you cannot do that because you are like this-and-that before”, there is no “I know you will do it because I know you better than yourself”, there is no “you cannot possibly just have said that, it isn’t you”. In this place, there is less pre-judgments. In this place, there is less strings attached. In this place, there is almost no boundaries.

What they see now is what they are getting. And they are not questioning it. They swim with it. Sometimes even drown themselves into it. And most of the times, you do the same for them. You test the water. How shallow, how deep, how long should you keep? No matter, you let go and float with it. Soaked, flowed, drowned, bloomed. You felt the movements of the water, the air under and within it. It is free-flowing, it is fleeting. One day it is calm, one day it is with strong uncontrollable waves. But it is all the same. You end up with the person you are trying to meet in the deep.

 

-k.

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